Baby blues or post-partum depression: telling the difference

There are tears you were not expecting. They come on the third day, over a hospital meal tray or a song on the radio, when everything is fine. You love this child. And yet, you cry.

Most of the time, it is the baby blues, and it passes. Sometimes, the sadness settles in, grows heavier, will not let go. Knowing the difference means you can ask for help at the right moment. That is not an admission of weakness. It is a form of care.

Baby blues or post-partum depression: two different realities

The two are often confused, because they begin the same way: tears, tiredness, a mood that wavers. But between the baby blues and post-partum depression, the difference lies in the timing, the duration and the intensity.

The baby blues is a passing reaction, largely linked to the sharp drop in hormones after the birth, to exhaustion and to the upheaval of the first days. Post-partum depression is an illness. It says nothing about your love for your child, nor about your ability to be a mother. It can be treated.

The baby blues: common and short-lived

The baby blues affects a large proportion of women who have just given birth. It usually occurs between the third and tenth day.

You cry easily. You feel fragile, irritable, overwhelmed by the smallest things. Your mood changes from one hour to the next. You can laugh and cry in the same morning.

It passes on its own, within a few days to about two weeks. What helps: sleeping whenever you can, eating, being surrounded by people, being able to say what you feel without being judged. And knowing that it is to be expected. For what comes down to exhaustion, our article on post-partum fatigue offers practical pointers.

Post-partum depression: when it lasts

Post-partum depression affects a smaller proportion of women, but it is not rare. It can begin in the first weeks, prolong a baby blues that does not pass, or appear later, at any point in the first year.

Its signs resemble those of depression at any other time of life:

• sadness or emptiness lasting more than two weeks;
• a loss of interest in what mattered before;
• tiredness that does not lift, even when you are able to sleep;
• sleep or appetite problems;
• a feeling of guilt, of incompetence, of not being up to it;
• difficulty feeling a bond with your baby;
• withdrawing into yourself, not wanting to see anyone;
• dark thoughts.

It can affect any woman, however the pregnancy or birth went, with a first child as with a third. It can also affect the other parent.

Not everything that weighs on you is depression. The feeling of not recognising yourself after the birth, in your body or in your life, is common and also deserves to be heard.

The table for telling them apart

	Baby blues	Post-partum depression
Timing	Between roughly the 3rd and 10th day	At any point in the first year
Duration	A few days to two weeks	More than two weeks, often several months without help
Intensity	Emotions that come and go, moments of joy preserved	Sadness, emptiness or anxiety present most of the time
Daily life	Disrupted, but manageable	Increasingly difficult
What to do	Rest, support, talking about it	Getting help: midwife, doctor, psychologist

Post-partum anxiety

Some women are not sad. They are worried, all the time. Fear that something will happen to the baby, thoughts going round in circles, an inability to relax even when the baby is asleep, a racing heart, sleep that will not come.

Post-partum anxiety is less well known than depression, but it is common and can go hand in hand with it. It can also be treated. If worry is taking up all the room, talk to your midwife or your doctor.

Postpartum psychosis: rare, and urgent

Postpartum psychosis is rare. It usually occurs in the first weeks after the birth, often suddenly. Confusion, strange ideas, loss of contact with reality, agitation, incoherent speech, hallucinations.

It is a medical emergency. It is often those close to the mother who notice it, as the person affected does not realise. Call 15 (the French emergency number) or go to A&E without delay. Treated quickly, it can be cured.

The early postnatal check-in

In France, an early postnatal check-in is offered to all women after the birth, usually between the fourth and eighth week. It is carried out by a midwife or a doctor. It is a time to talk about how you are living through these weeks: your mood, your sleep, the bond with your baby, the support around you.

A second check-in may be offered later, especially if difficulties arise. It is the right moment to say what is weighing on you. Without fear of being judged.

The signs that mean you should seek help, and who to call

Talk about it without delay if:

• sadness, emptiness or anxiety lasts more than two weeks;
• you can no longer sleep, even when the baby is asleep;
• you no longer feel able to cope with daily life;
• you are afraid of your own thoughts.

Several doors are open to you:

• your midwife or your GP, the first person to turn to;
• your local PMI (French maternal and child health centre), with midwives and paediatric nurses;
• a perinatal psychologist or psychiatrist, by referral or directly;
• the Maman Blues association, which supports women experiencing maternal difficulties, and those close to them.

If you have dark thoughts or thoughts of suicide, call 3114, the French national suicide-prevention line, free and available 24 hours a day. In an emergency, or if you fear you might harm yourself or your baby, call 15 (the French emergency number).

Frequently asked questions

How long does the baby blues last?

Most often, from a few days to about two weeks. It usually begins between the third and tenth day after the birth. If it lasts beyond two weeks or intensifies, talk to your midwife or your doctor.

How do you know if you have post-partum depression?

Sadness, emptiness or anxiety that lasts more than two weeks, fills most of your days and makes daily life difficult should be a warning sign. Only a professional can make the diagnosis. Talking about it is the first step.

Can post-partum depression start several months after the birth?

Yes. It can appear at any point in the first year, sometimes around weaning, the return to work or an accumulation of tiredness. It does not always begin in the first weeks.

Can you have post-partum depression and still love your child?

Yes. Post-partum depression has nothing to do with the love you feel for your child. You can love them deeply and need help. The two very often go together.

Can the father or the other parent have post-partum depression?

Yes, the other parent can also go through depression after a birth. The signs are similar: sadness, irritability, withdrawal, tiredness. The GP is a good first person to turn to.

Asking, to begin with

There is no right way to live through these weeks. There are bright days and heavy days, and sometimes days that never quite dawn. That is not a failure. It is a signal.

Asking for help takes nothing away from who you are. It gives you back a little room.

To understand what the body and sleep are also going through during these weeks, read the post-partum week by week.